The SAFE Place Resources

It is okay to tell your friend or loved one that this can be a difficult topic for you to talk about. Let them know that you are open to talk about anything, even if it is uncomfortable.

• “It’s not your fault.” Survivors can sometimes blame themselves. Assault is never a survivor’s fault.
• “How can I help you?” Leave the question open so that your loved one feels free to ask for what they need. It can also help the survivor to feel that they have more choice.
• “I support your choices.” In a time of trauma and stress, survivors will often feel like every decision they make could be the wrong one. A place of non-judgmental support can be invaluable for a survivor, and really let them know that you’re available.

• Criticize them for what they were wearing, being where they were, not resisting more, etc. The only person responsible for the assault is the perpetrator. Everyone has the basic human right to be free from threats, harassment, or attack. Whatever your student did to survive the situation was the right thing to do.
• Downplay what happened by saying it wasn’t that bad or that they should forget about it. Let your student tell you exactly how they feel.
• Sympathize with the abuser. Your student needs your absolute support.
• Blame your student, your spouse/partner, or yourself. Avoid asking “why” questions as much as possible because these often imply blame.

It can be important to have resources on hand if your loved one lets you know that they have been the victim of sexual violence. Having the right resources can make a difference. There are many great resources out there when it comes to supporting friends and family who have experienced sexual violence on college campus. Below are just few:

• RAINN
• National Sexual Violence Resource Center
• National Domestic Violence Hotline

You might have questions about when, how or if SAFE can communicate with you about your student and their well-being. SAFE is a confidential space, meaning that a student can seek and be provided services and expect to have that information private including from outside parties, and support networks.

Like most types of confidential communication, SAFE does not communicate with outside parties without a written, signed consent in place.